Kisah Mencari Tok Kadi 

Don’t you think 2017 is zooming by although we were just trying to grapple with  the fact that we just entered the new year? Such is life. Somehow, I couldn’t be happier for many reasons, not necessarily related to the wedding or the new life waiting for me come August. In any case, Z and I have finally filed our nikah for registration sometime last week. Alhamdulillah!

In all honesty, I didn’t find the process too stressful or anything. Maybe because I wasn’t the one doing the registration hehe. Z’s been such a sweetheart and I am full of gratitude thinking about him and what he has done for me. Also because, I think I was the one who was stressing him out and pushing him to “quickly register”. Hahaha. Typical of me to do that.

In my panic-excited mode, I reminded Z that we had to submit the registration 150 days before the nikah only to realise that I must have misread the requirements. It turned out to be on the 150th day up UNTIL the date of solemnization (simply said, 149 days BEFORE the wedding). Silly me, I didn’t check the calendar on ROMM’s website prior to that. It wasn’t really an issue but it made me extra jumpy. Luckily for us, we did not give two hoots about staying up till midnight to wait for the registration to open or I would have gotten into trouble with Z. 

Allow me to digress a little to give you a little insight on our choice of Tok Kadi. Now, we weren’t too particular with our choice of Tok Kadi. (The Tok Kadi is the man who carries out the solemnization process in a Muslim marriage, without whom the marriage may not be accepted. There is a list of kadi (or qadi) who have been appointed in Singapore to carry out this responsibility.) I know I wanted someone firm as the Tok Kadi as I feel that the solemnization or the nikah is not just something procedural nor lighthearted but rather a solemn affair that has its sets of requirements to abide by. While the process should not be made complicated for parties involved, I strongly believe it has to be very seriously done. The khutbah after nikah is something I look forward to and I get disappointed when it’s too short and before you know the kadi is off to his next appointment, in a rush no less. Very anti-climactic. I know some couples who prefer the younger Tok Kadi(s) who are more entertaining (and there’s nothing wrong with that) or those who are fuss-free and don’t talk much but you do you – it’s a personal choice afterall. It’s just what I feel is right to make the nikah all the more memorable for Z, myself and our parents and families. 🙂

Z and I didn’t do much research like looking for videos of nikah ceremonies; we have attended ample nikah ceremonies to know that we didn’t want so and so kadi for the aforementioned reasons. For some reason though, I was very interested in getting either Ustaz Pasuni Maulan or Ustaz Syed Mustafa Alsagoff, the latter after having attended his class during our marriage preparatory workshop with Syariah Consultancy. Alhamdulillah, Z was also agreeable to my choices. After seeking advice from my parents, they emphasized their interest in Ustaz Pasuni since he was their Tok Kadi. 

So when we could finally register our nikah on ROMM’s website, we were disheartened to find out that Ustaz Pasuni did not have an available slot on our date. I tried not to freak out (it was 6.40 am and I was braving the morning crowd in the train on the way to work while Z was at home doing the registration). Maybe it wasn’t our rezeki, I told Z. Z proceeded to check for Ustaz Syed Mustafa and he was available for the day, but not for the slot we wanted unfortunately. I couldn’t think. The crowded train only made me more angsty. So I tried to calm down a little and told Z we should just settle it in the evening while he tried to contact Ustaz Pasuni to inquire about our nikah date. 

I’m not one to be patient despite how time and time again, patience has proven to be the best virtue to hold on to. I never learn of course but this whole process was a testimony to that. Alhamdulillah we decided to wait it out because after calling him up, he confirmed his availability for our date. I was beaming when I received the news from Z although that very day progressed into a very emotional one for the both of us. (Our beloved ustaz, Alharhum Ustaz Zhulkeflee went on to meet our Creator that day and it was by far one of the most heartbreaking news we’ve received this year. We have certainly lost a gem, in the Muslim ummah. Having attended his classes for nearly 3 years, he has certainly played a huge part in shaping our worldview, making us who we are today.)

Anyways, Z proceeded with the booking eventually and alhamdulillah it’s all settled now. We just have to make a trip to ROMM together with my dad and then wait patiently for D-day. Hehe. InshaAllah everything will go well.

Can’t wait, honestly! Hehe.
Impatiently signing off,