Kisah Mencari Tok Kadi 

Don’t you think 2017 is zooming by although we were just trying to grapple with  the fact that we just entered the new year? Such is life. Somehow, I couldn’t be happier for many reasons, not necessarily related to the wedding or the new life waiting for me come August. In any case, Z and I have finally filed our nikah for registration sometime last week. Alhamdulillah!

In all honesty, I didn’t find the process too stressful or anything. Maybe because I wasn’t the one doing the registration hehe. Z’s been such a sweetheart and I am full of gratitude thinking about him and what he has done for me. Also because, I think I was the one who was stressing him out and pushing him to “quickly register”. Hahaha. Typical of me to do that.

In my panic-excited mode, I reminded Z that we had to submit the registration 150 days before the nikah only to realise that I must have misread the requirements. It turned out to be on the 150th day up UNTIL the date of solemnization (simply said, 149 days BEFORE the wedding). Silly me, I didn’t check the calendar on ROMM’s website prior to that. It wasn’t really an issue but it made me extra jumpy. Luckily for us, we did not give two hoots about staying up till midnight to wait for the registration to open or I would have gotten into trouble with Z. 

Allow me to digress a little to give you a little insight on our choice of Tok Kadi. Now, we weren’t too particular with our choice of Tok Kadi. (The Tok Kadi is the man who carries out the solemnization process in a Muslim marriage, without whom the marriage may not be accepted. There is a list of kadi (or qadi) who have been appointed in Singapore to carry out this responsibility.) I know I wanted someone firm as the Tok Kadi as I feel that the solemnization or the nikah is not just something procedural nor lighthearted but rather a solemn affair that has its sets of requirements to abide by. While the process should not be made complicated for parties involved, I strongly believe it has to be very seriously done. The khutbah after nikah is something I look forward to and I get disappointed when it’s too short and before you know the kadi is off to his next appointment, in a rush no less. Very anti-climactic. I know some couples who prefer the younger Tok Kadi(s) who are more entertaining (and there’s nothing wrong with that) or those who are fuss-free and don’t talk much but you do you – it’s a personal choice afterall. It’s just what I feel is right to make the nikah all the more memorable for Z, myself and our parents and families. 🙂

Z and I didn’t do much research like looking for videos of nikah ceremonies; we have attended ample nikah ceremonies to know that we didn’t want so and so kadi for the aforementioned reasons. For some reason though, I was very interested in getting either Ustaz Pasuni Maulan or Ustaz Syed Mustafa Alsagoff, the latter after having attended his class during our marriage preparatory workshop with Syariah Consultancy. Alhamdulillah, Z was also agreeable to my choices. After seeking advice from my parents, they emphasized their interest in Ustaz Pasuni since he was their Tok Kadi. 

So when we could finally register our nikah on ROMM’s website, we were disheartened to find out that Ustaz Pasuni did not have an available slot on our date. I tried not to freak out (it was 6.40 am and I was braving the morning crowd in the train on the way to work while Z was at home doing the registration). Maybe it wasn’t our rezeki, I told Z. Z proceeded to check for Ustaz Syed Mustafa and he was available for the day, but not for the slot we wanted unfortunately. I couldn’t think. The crowded train only made me more angsty. So I tried to calm down a little and told Z we should just settle it in the evening while he tried to contact Ustaz Pasuni to inquire about our nikah date. 

I’m not one to be patient despite how time and time again, patience has proven to be the best virtue to hold on to. I never learn of course but this whole process was a testimony to that. Alhamdulillah we decided to wait it out because after calling him up, he confirmed his availability for our date. I was beaming when I received the news from Z although that very day progressed into a very emotional one for the both of us. (Our beloved ustaz, Alharhum Ustaz Zhulkeflee went on to meet our Creator that day and it was by far one of the most heartbreaking news we’ve received this year. We have certainly lost a gem, in the Muslim ummah. Having attended his classes for nearly 3 years, he has certainly played a huge part in shaping our worldview, making us who we are today.)

Anyways, Z proceeded with the booking eventually and alhamdulillah it’s all settled now. We just have to make a trip to ROMM together with my dad and then wait patiently for D-day. Hehe. InshaAllah everything will go well.

Can’t wait, honestly! Hehe.
Impatiently signing off,

A Brief Update

Gonna squeeze some time for a brief update cos I can finally heave a sigh of relief and syukur now that we have finally settled the venue for my side alhamdulillah! The anxiety leading up to balloting results made me panic and I felt unsettled so many times. I also couldn’t proceed with our wedding invites because we were neither here nor there. Venue was the only thing we needed to settle but not having settled it put our preparations to a momentary halt which I hated because I just wanted to keep moving and ticking everything off our list. Yes, I’m very impatient like that.

But yes, alhamdulillah! The whole venue issue created series of drama moments at home man! It was truly a battle – tears were shed and pain was involved when we were turned away one by one by the various CCs around Woodlands and Yishun. I remember frantically calling and emailing CCs all over Singapore just to have a back up plan in case we didn’t get the venue of our choice. Anyways, now that we’ve got the venue settled, I can finally start thinking about my decor hehe!

We’ve already met up with our bridal to discuss about our outfits – Zubi was very pleasant, welcoming and forthcoming. I had thought that I came prepared but apparently not since I’m pretty fickle and changed my mind even during the discussion. Being rambang mata, I kept having to search for more pictures and kept changing my mind there and then. I’m not saying that it wasn’t a fruitful discussion – we did eventually decide on our colours and designs but in retrospect, I could have been more prepared! Point to note before I meet Kak Nyta to disuss the decor next month or so.

Last update: we decided to replace one of our vendors as my dad had a change of heart. I’ve yet to update my previous vendor for this department so More on this in the upcoming entry. 

Love

A

A Cordial Invitation

Wow, it certainly has been ages since I last updated this blog of mine! I’ve really been so caught up with a lot of things – planning, preparing, executing. None of which had anything to do with our wedding. Heh. I never thought I’d actually be this chill at this stage but I shouldn’t be too quick in saying so. I certainly did have a few bridezilla moments. But really girls…

bride

Of course, it’s not like we didn’t accomplish anything at all. We did strike off a few items from our checklist. Some quick updates:-

  1. Buy our matrimonial bed – We happened to be at Expo one day and lo and behold, there was a furniture fair! We managed to get a bed and mattress that both of us agreed to (didn’t think getting a bed could be so difficult!) and we liked that it can be delivered as and when we like as long as we give them 3-4 weeks notice!
  2. Buy wedding band & mahar – I’m getting two rings! Yes two. Hehe. As we both agreed to no monetary form of gift / hantaran, my dear kind-hearted Z decided I could get two rings hehe. Alhamdulillah! We opted to get rose gold for both the wedding band and mahar. We managed to get both rings on the same day (we were just supposed to survey for them but ended up buying them because you know, I’m a bit impatient like that. But good la cos my mahar takes 6 months to be ready since it’s customized) from Goldheart and Love & Co. at Tampines Mall. Service from both stores was great – extra mention for Love & Co. for a personalised service! They even served us tea and biscuits! Extra happy with the ring Z got me from Love & Co. too! 🙂 No pictures until the actual day!
  3. Book airplane tickets & accommodation for our mini honeymoon – Finally made time for this. We decided to go with SilkAir instead of JetStar or Tiger since the prices for budget airline add up to be about the same. So why not, right? I’m having second thoughts about the resort we’ve booked but I guess I’ll think about that later…

Yup, that’s about it. Z mentioned how everything had nothing to do with the actual wedding but rather life after wedding but then again, the marriage is what matters most right? 🙂

Anyways, I’m  currently at the ideation stage for our wedding invitations. I had wanted the ever ubiquitous floral theme initially but I’m now starting to go for something more minimalist and classic. Or a mix of both because I still love flowers. Like so:

They are so pretty! I spend hours scouring Pinterest for ideas and it doesn’t help at all! I just keep changing what I want. I can’t even decide the size that I want for the card. A6 is definitely too small and I have mixed feelings for DL – it’s neither here nor there. A square card is cute too! Gah! And I’ve got ideas to include envelope liners and all but really, I’ve got no time for that so I guess I’ll just reserve that for the special ones and the ones whom I know will not chuck my invitation card aside. Hehe.

Also, I was supposed to start on the card over this long weekend but hey, it’s almost ending! I obviously didn’t do anything about it… And the next time I can finally start on the card is in two weeks time because my dear friend is getting married and duty calls for this bridesmaid!

Maybe I shouldn’t be too ambitious and just, you know, get someone to do the card for me?

Oh the dilemma!

Love,

klumsyride

 

 

 

Bothering My Bridesmaids Part 1

Bridesmaids are all the rage these days that it is not uncommon to see a whole bridal entourage in matchy outfits. Bridesmaids actually play a functional role (or roles) in a wedding, in spite popular beliefs that most them are around to tangkap jambu/glamour. For me, I know I need my bridesmaids around to calm me down and help me around when help is in need. I have taken proper care and thought in selecting my bridesmaids and I know I NEED to choose my closest friends to be my bridesmaids. No questions asked. 

Now, based on my past experiences, I believe that it’s important that your bridesmaids are someone you’re close to and not just anyone you know like your sister’s friend whom you just met or a friend you  got acquainted with via your boyfriend  and have only known for some time or you chose her just because her boyfriend will be your future husband’s groomsmen too so it’ll look good that everybody will be in pairs. I’ve been and will be in that situation and to be honest, I just don’t quite like it because my heart’s just not into it. I want to be able to carry out my role sincerely and not reluctantly and begrudgingly. Of course, my opinions are open to contention but to each her own. 

I understand how you can click with someone almost instantly and become the best of friends but now that I’m 26, it’s getting harder and harder for that to happen. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I can be a little bit less than lukewarm in real life and I don’t readily accept someone new in my life. As for now, I’m comfortable and contented with the few good friends (and even fewer very good/best friends) that I keep close to my heart. 

So basically, I chose my bridesmaids based on the following:

  • Someone I’m very close to and have known for over two years
  • Someone I can trust
  • Someone I’ve traveled with at least once (this is important because if that person can travel with me, it means she knows my quirks and how annoying I am pretty well hahaha)
  • Girls from various and important stages in my life namely high school, university days, AAM days and in the beginning of my career

So with that, I’ve shortlisted 6 very beautiful and awesome girls and I know I cannot choose any other. I can’t wait to introduce them soon (and start bothering them more hehe). Meanwhile, it’s time to research for the bridesmaid packages that I’ll be doing and the dresses that my girls will be twirling in. Exciting!

Also, I’ve just booked our 4D3N stay at a really pretty 5* resort somewhere both Z and I have never been to for our short honeymoon in September. We unanimously agreed that this short trip should be a quiet one with a sea view (Z loves the sea more than I do – I’m very much a cities and mountains kinda person) before we embark on the bigger and even more exciting trip in December 2017. Also, we can’t possibly be staying in multiple 5* hotels in Europe so this has got to be one of the few times we can do it hahaha.

Till then!

X,

One Year Countdown

I’m finally back blogging after a long hiatus! And with good news at that – we are down to a year till our solemnization! Yes guys, one more year. It’s a mixture of emotions all of a sudden – panicky yet thrilling, excited yet afraid. We have been relaxing for way too long so now that we have finally hit the one year countdown mark, things are starting to get more serious. (Just an update that our nikah will be on 5th August 2017 while the sanding on 26th August – our major and required vendors are all available for both dates, Alhamdulillah. We decided not to find separate photographers or Mak andam for the solemnization because adding extra hours from our current vendors will still be cheaper than getting new ones even if we take the less popular vendors.)

Coincidentally, we will be attending our marriage workshop this weekend. It’ll be conducted by Syariah Consultancy and held at Masjid An-Nur since it’s more convenient for me. We chose Syariah Consultance because we wanted something that is more islamically inclined – it’s our personal preference! I guess it only adds on to the seriousness. 

I’ll be back with reviews on the course. Till then, pray for us! 

Love

Panic! At the Disko

If you know me, you should know by now that I’ve been pretty chill with the whole wedding planning because I’ve more or less settled the vendors for my side of the reception. Also, I had 500 plus days to go till the wedding so it really left me with nothing much to do for the rest of this year. Boring, I know. But notice it’s all in past tense because we effectively just cut down the waiting game by a full 90 days! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we are bringing forth the wedding to an earlier date. Alhamdulillah!

I never thought this could happen to me because I thought we were pretty set with the date and all. There were talks about bringing the wedding to an earlier date between Z and I but we didn’t really put in conscientious effort to bring it up to our parents because we thought they might not approve.

Also, I’m not gonna lie – the challenges of being an engaged couple can really get to us sometimes. It’s really mind-boggling how the tiniest of issue can cause such an uproar. Also, being human, emotions such as envy and jealousy are no stranger to us. While I am happy to know of friends who are getting married earlier and I cannot contain my excitement when my friends break news about having a bun in the oven, I can’t stop myself from feeling envious because I wanna get married  and have babies too but I can’t because there’s still 500+++ days to go.

But I’m okay, trust me. Z and I believe that whatever’s meant to be, will be and there is certainly hikmah in us getting married slightly over two years from being engaged. Also, this particular Facebook post by Ustaz Mizi made me feel so much better about it.

Being delayed is a blessing, it happens so that you could be better prepared for what’s to come.

It’s a blessing when an expected deadline isn’t met. To settle down. To make your first million. To get in the university. To become a parent.

It’s a blessing that things didn’t happen sooner than you’d expect.

Delays are “downtimes” for you to utilise so that you could be better prepared.

Because ultimately God wants you to know that it is not by what you do, but by what He says – that love, mercy, and abundance enter into your life.

And failure is part of your training
Loneliness is part of your training
Rejection is part of your training
Disappointment is part of your training

You can’t learn to walk without tripping
Tripping is what teaches you how to walk.

You can’t learn how to love without disappointments. You can’t learn gratitude without loss. You can’t learn to appreciate abundance without lack. And you can’t learn companionship without lonely nights.

Delays can be painful. But they certainly are blessings through and through. Keep the faith while waiting.

But then I go to weddings and the whole internal struggle repeats itself. I know Allah has a better plan for us, that there are areas in which I can improve myself in like attending more religious classes, continue with Arabic classes, learn how to sew, be more patient and all that jazz. But I can’t help wondering why aren’t my prayers (to cepatkan the marriage) being answered? Astaghfirullah. 😦  And we felt it most last weekend. So after speaking to our soon-to-be-married friends (I will eternally be grateful to the both of you, you know who you are) over the past weekend, we felt more compelled to cepatkan the wedding because we know that getting married earlier would be the better option for us. “When you’re ready, it’s better not to delay something that is good for you,” said our dear friend. That’s when Z and I started to think through our decision. We also didn’t waste any time and proceeded to check our finances to see if it’s possible for us to bring forth the wedding. Alhamdulillah, we are right on track and inshaAllah we will continue to be so. We checked the calendar for suitable dates and decided that August and September would be just nice. We didn’t have any particular dates in mind as long as it was an earlier date. We both spoke to our parents for their approval and while my mom was initially quite apprehensive, she got to terms with it because mak mana tak gembira kan???

panic-quotes-1So our plan was simple – just ask our vendors for available dates in August and September 2017. I scrambled to email all our confirmed vendors and let me tell you this – first time in this whole wedding planning journey that I am this close to getting a panic  bridezilla attack. The anxiety and anticipation of getting a negative reply (or worse, none at all) from the vendors made me feel so SCARED. Most of our vendors replied within an hour max (except for some). After getting the dates from our vendors, we had to double check the calendar. While September is good, the first Saturday of September holidays (teacher woes!!!) coincides with Aidiladha and the days of Tashriq. The middle part of September is not a good time since I’ll be down with exams and marking. So the best time has got to be the weekend before September holidays since the last week of Term 3 will be a short one (Teachers’ Day / Hari Raya Haji holiday) which means I can utilise my marriage leave. A quick check with our vendors and everyone (even Akrab!!!) gave positive replies. So that’s it guys, our new date will be 26 August 2017, inshaAllah!

The only problem is I still have yet to get a reply from Nawwarah Bridal (major vendor) and Hurhur Paperie (not really major). I think I’ve sent multiple e-mails in my bridezilla mode but still no reply. Help me, everybody! T_T To comfort my panicky self, I’m telling myself that if ada rezeki, inshaAllah I get to have NB as my bridal. Also, I’m secretly bersyukur sangat-sangat because inshaAllah the du’a that I made while performing umrah will be granted soon. 🙂

It is really true what they say…

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I hope you can make du’a for us that NB will be available for the new date and all the planning goes smoothly. Aameen!

Love,

klumsyride

 

Duckscarves Addiction!

Hi! I’m A and I’m a Duckscarves Addict!

Yup, you read that right. I love dUCkscarves and I cannot get enough of them. I don’t care if you’re gonna tell me (or speak behind me) that I spend too much money on just a piece of cloth that I can easily get from Geylang for $5 or that I only have one head so I don’t need to spend ludicrous amount of money on something just for modesty’s sake or that I base my happiness on something so material. Yes, because I just love it when I receive parcels with the now almost ubiquitous purple boxes (or when I’m lucky enough, the beautifully illustrated Limited Edition boxes), untying the ribbons and reading the postcards from D. And then when I get to put them on so nicely (and still with great coverage) because I’ve finally perfected the art of styling the duckscarves, I smile to myself because all these make me immensely happy. Even more so when I get to wear them to Badoque as seen below.

My favourite range of duckscarves other than their limited edition ones would be the Satin Silk ones. I also love the new versions of mixed crepe and georgette and can’t pick a favourite between the two. The materials are so soft yet very terletak when you’ve put them on. I love how the scarves are so carefully packed in their respective boxes, tied with a cute ribbon no less. I mean, can you imagine the amount of work goes into just packing them? It may sound like such a menial task at this day and age but D never fails to make it look so exciting through her Instagram page. Just look at their wonderful feed:


To date, I don’t know how many duckscarves I have collected since I gave away some of the basic boxes as gift boxes because they are taking so much space (read: need.a.walk.in.wardrobe.k.thanks). The duck boxes make such cute gift boxes. If you’re feeling generous, the scarves themselves make such cute presents for your best girlfriend! 

I really hope that duck won’t be like one of those brands that will disappear after a while because gosh, I need to collect them all!! Hehehe. Coincidentally, it was their second birthday yesterday! 

Anyone else has a duck addition like me? 😍

Love