Ideal or Practical Wedding?

Hello, everyone and Salam Aidiladha! May the remaining days of Tashreeq be blessed with ibadah, happy eating and remembrance of Allah, inshaAllah! Aameen!

Many of you would probably be aware by now of the closure of primary and secondary schools today due to worsening haze condition on the evening of 24th September. I was of course, overjoyed when I first saw the news. It was only much later when logic creeped into my mind and I realised, I NEED TO FINISH REVISION WITH MY STUDENTS AND I STILL NEED TO FINISH ORAL. And no guys, we teachers still had to work and there’s just so much administrative stuff that needed (and still needs) to be settled. Now, whoever said teachers have it easy? :p

But that’s besides the point. What I really wanted to blog about was the shock I was greeted with when my dear father cooly said to me this evening that he wants a live band performing traditional music for the wedding. Wait… What? A live band? Did I hear correctly? You know, I am starting to mishear things people say here and there. But just to be sure, I asked him again.

“Abah nak live band perform lagu Melayu asli.”

Yup, I wasn’t mistaken. My old man wants to have traditional Malay music performed by a live band, particularly Orkes Budi. Not that I have anything against that, really. I love traditional Malay music, especially zapin. And I wasn’t really thinking of how it would affect the wedding planning in the economic sense. (Of course I was worried laaa of the costs to be incurred.) Let me explain myself.

The first few times I envisioned my wedding was perhaps a few years ago. Wait of course not. A girl has been dreaming of her wedding since she was a toddler! Hehe. I had two versions of how I wanted my wedding. I have my ideal wedding (grand, fairytale, ala Mariah & Sham-esque) and I have my version of practical wedding which I grew to be so accustomed to that resulted in me brushing aside any thoughts of my ideal wedding. My idea of a practical wedding doesn’t need 1000 guests, nor does it involve any of the fancy frills and fanfare. I didn’t want any wang hantaran nor did I want any gift trays. And I nonchalantly said no to photo booths, live entertainment and all that jazz. Just a simple affair with music played from my own playlist of approved-songs, simple decor and nice-but-doesn’t-burn-the-pockets food, surrounded by family and friends. Senang cakap, a practical wedding won’t need all the unnecessary things la. Because what we want to focus on is the marriage and not the wedding right? Right? Which was why I was slightly apprehensive about having a live traditional band at my wedding.

However, since I started researching for vendors and watching wedding videos, my idea of an ideal wedding started to distort my vision of having a practical wedding. Z, having known me so well, even mentioned that “You can have your grand wedding.” Hahaha wah, this guy is good. But anyways, I have been so caught up with contacting vendors, thinking of the wedding (yes, a bit too early, but I very kiasu mah and most of the vendors I like only have a few slots left!) that I’m starting to forget what I told myself about unnecessary spending. I keep having to remind myself to go back to my intention and niyyat of getting married so that I won’t be swayed by the extra magic touch. But, it’s kinda hard, sometimes. You know? Does anybody experience the same conflicted emotions as me?

I did speak to my parents about the wedding finances and as much as I didn’t want to burden them, I didn’t want to disappoint them and come across as too hard-headed and rude as well. Every father would feel a great sense of responsibility over his children, especially his daughters and mine insisted on funding part of the wedding. I am grateful, of course but I just hope it’s not gonna cause any misunderstanding along the way, inshaAllah.

Anyways since I’m already on the topic of having a live band at my wedding, do you girls have any recommendations for a traditional live band other than Orkes Budi? My father insists on having Orkes Budi because he has watched them played live so if you have any reviews for them, it would be good too!  (I’ve included a video of Orkes Budi and I thought it was quite good! What do you think?) But, my father’s criteria  for a live band are as such:

  1. Not too noisy and messy
  2. Wear traditional clothes
  3. Perform fully traditional music with none in English
  4. Professional

And since my father wants a traditional live band kan, guess what sort of wedding do I want now? A traditional Malay wedding of course! Why not, kan? Just go along with it lah. Anyway I thought it was befitting of me as Malay Language teacher as well to have a traditional Malay wedding with some adat istiadat. 

The pursuit to save wherever I can is still ongoing, though. Don’t worry!

Love,
A

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15 thoughts on “Ideal or Practical Wedding?

  1. Hey babe, my dad sort of did the same thing to me BUT he presented me a name card as his extra mile hint. I am currently contacting Nobat Kota Singa which you can find them on FB but with limited videos. Another one I know which is awesome as I have seen them up close and personal at a friend’s wedding in December, is Sri Gemilang and he has shared his quotation with me. So maybe this will be a head start for you?

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      • Ouh Orkes Budi, i bet i know why…. it’s because Zubir Abdullah ada and Fathin Amira also. Heh heh heh
        FYI they mostly run over 6 hours, if longer different charge. You should do the background check and present to him jadi one time talk. The more the band member also different price as I noticed. All the best babe!

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      • yaaaa! hes a big fan or zubir abdullah! they charge $2500 for 6 hours. So mahalllll 😦 But thanks for the tip! ystd pun he read about sinar fusika in Berita Minggu and he seemed a bit interested. hehe

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  2. I feel the conflicted feelings you always feel! Sometimes I want my niat to be right but the extra sprinkle of fairy dust to the wedding is so so so so tempting and the nafs will take over. Hahaha. I remind myself to always reflect…Other times I just #goje (dangerous) haha

    On another note, you might consider Alto Aura/Sri Mahligai/Eva Luna!

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  3. Hi babe, i engaged altoaura to sing traditional songs, i enquired orkes budi last 2 years i tink, but it was too over budget, u can also try to enquire sri gemilang ^^

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  4. Babe, i think all of us are secretly fighting the inner princess in our hearts. Always a battle with practicality vs OURDREAMYDREAMYDREAMYDREAMYDREAMY WANTS!! heheheh but insyallah ive learnt to let go of alot of things, and esp about arguin with the elders. Now, Im usually like “suka hati laaaa” HAHAH Because i think once the wedding is over, all these arguments wont even be relevant! Chin up k!

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    • HAhahah that’s why!! Tapi i told my fiance paling penting gambar must appear dreamy. hehehe. and you’re righttt. no point arguing. i learnt my lesson after the engagement nye plannning. tu pun dah headache. hahaha

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  5. Hi babe, I’m getting G.endang Akustika to perform at my wedding next year (27 Aug). Their cheapest package is $1600. I’ve heard them perform at 2 separate weddings. You can check out their fb/youtube page 🙂

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